One day

One day you won’t have any hold on me whatsoever.
One day I won’t be overcome with sadness when I realise ‘forever’ meant nothing.
One day seeing you having a good time without me won’t bug me.
One day.


Inspiration and realisation

I’ve always had this strong inclination to help people. I think most people would probably say this about theirself.
Last summer I started volunteering at British Red Cross and I loved it, but I started university and I stopped being able to make it due to revision etc. I put myself before helping others, basically. But through doing this, although it seems like I’m putting myself first, I actually lost a part of myself, and it wasn’t until today whilst watching a documentary about homelessness that I realised what the part of myself that was missing actually was. It’s the desire to help people that isn’t fulfilled that’s causing the gap.
The gap is primarily due to my disconnection with God (which I’m currently mending) and disconnection with the needs of my soul (which is, on some level, harder to mend), but also this lack of fulfilment.

I feel like I get so wrapped up in the superficiality of this life: the way I look, my grades, what others think of me etc. And it makes me lose sight of what’s important and then I wonder why I feel so unhappy and empty.

My advice to anyone reading this is, forget about all your superficial worries and burdens, ignore any thoughts about the past or future and ask yourself ‘is my soul happy and fulfilled? If not, what can I do to make it happy and satisfied?’ because that’s the most important thing of all. Take care of your soul.

Goodnight ❤

Day 4 of mindfulness

Today’s session wasn’t great, I had to stop halfway through because my mum was coming upstairs and my mind was so disconnected to my body that I thought I was focused until I realised that my mind was only focused on the surface but on a level that was harder to realise, it was drifting.

I feel like I needed the session to go well today because I feel quite uneasy and I especially need meditation today. But ah well, you win some you lose some. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Goodnight ❤

Day 3 of mindfulness

Yesterday was supposed to be day 3 but I didn’t do the exercise yesterday.

Today was a good session, I did the full 10 minutes even though I didn’t set an alarm and didn’t get much anxiety. My mind was wandering quite a bit in the first half but I just kept redirecting my focus to my body/breathing/sounds etc and by the end I was really getting into it and completely connected to my body and environment. I could’ve carried on but I had to stop because I didn’t want my sister wondering why I wasn’t in bed.

It’s days like these when I fall in love with meditation even more.

Goodnight ❤

Day 2 of mindfulness

So, another struggle today but also an amazing outcome.

I was finding that my brain was wondering a lot without me realising and when I did realise, it was a struggle to not become demotivated with detrimental thoughts of ‘i can’t do this’ but I managed to overcome these thoughts and carried on.

But anxiety kicked in (thinking someone was near me and my mind telling me I need to open my eyes to make sure everything was okay), I tried to carry on and use it to try and get rid of the anxiety but I couldn’t concentrate on what I was doing so I had to end the exercise 3 minutes early.

I’m not going to lie and say I’m not disappointed but the good thing was the outcome: when I opened my eyes I got a good tingly feeling and my body felt very different after the exercise, in a good way.

I’m trying to focus on the positive but it’s hard not to be disheartened.


Day 1 of mindfulness exercise

Well, it’s not really the first day. I’ve tried mindfulness several times before but this is the first time that I’m promising myself to do it consistently every day (and writing a daily blog of my progress to try and get me to stick to it).

Today’s exercise felt quite hard to get into because my mind is particularly racing today after going to an amazing open forum about a touchy subject which made me question a lot of things. I was close to giving up at the beginning of the exercise but towards the end I started to get into it and managed to clear my mind to some degree, using the technique of bringing my attention back when I notice that my mind was wandered off, rather than forcing myself to concentrate, which I find is a really good technique.

But I do feel like I could’ve got more out of that session than I did but I need to remember that I’m only just starting out, I need to give it time.

If you guys have any tips for days where your mind is particularly racing, I’d love to hear them!

Otherwise, have an amazing night/day. Good night ❤

The flaw in my motivation to change

I’m sure we all get those random bursts of motivation where you feel like doing all the things you’ve always wanted to do. However, theres a problem with these bursts of motivation which I love and I always make sure I write down my thoughts and feelings when random bursts of motivation strikes, to make sure that I don’t forget the feeling. The problem is I set unrealistic goals for myself, because I’m filled with motivation and I feel on top of the world. But this inevitably creates disappointment. Because I set unattainable goals for myself, rather than being realistic and taking small steps.
So for the future, I’ll use my bursts of motivation to be productive and set goals and schedules of when I want to reach these goals, making sure that they’re realistic and attainable 🙂

New blog on my spiritual journey

So I’ve always wanted to get closer to my religion and more spiritual. The problem is, I never did it! I tried to start meditating and practising mindfulness and it worked for a while but then I just slipped back into my old habits. So I started listening to spiritual podcasts and that’s really helped with my motivation so I really want to start listening to mindfulness podcasts too to help me continue my mindfulness routine everyday. I also want to encooporate mindfulness/meditation into my religion. I’ve always been an admirer of meditation from a distance but I never thought I would be able to do it (my mind races like it’s taking part in the Olympics!) but then I downloaded an app and discovered how simple it was as long as you practised everyday. So my goal for the next few days is to start meditating everyday again, and I also want to start waking up in the morning for prayer. So what I want to do is meditate after morning prayer because I feel this would be the perfect time to do that. Hopefully I carry it through.
#spirituality #mindfulness #islam #religion #motivation #meditation #journey